Thursday, August 09, 2007

Blew the monthly net worth thing and other things in my feeble overheated brain tonight

As if the recent stock market crap wasn't doing enough of a number on my 401(k) today I felt the need to order almost $200 worth of cat things on the internet. I think this is justifiable in terms of an expense and I plan to fully justify it for all of you in another week or so. Everything was on solid sale plus I did a google for drs foster and smith coupons and got an additional $36 off my order. Not that this is a good reason for spending money. I laugh at ads that prompt one to spend money one wouldn't otherwise spend simply because an item is on sale. If something is half off and I didn't need it in the first place I've wasted money because I was drawn into the sale thing. But I think this expense was entirely justified. Everything I ordered were items that I have felt would be a good investment for more than 2 years and so this wasn't a crazy impulsive thing. More will be revealed as I am able to do so. Also I purchased an electronic Spanish/English English/Spanish translator. Hint effing hint.

It's HOT in Atlanta. Effing HOT y'all. Tuesday I was driving home from the office and got to a stop light on Memorial Drive where there's a Walgreen's on one side and a Re-Max on the other. Both have electronic marquee signs which display specials, sales, and time/temp. Walgreen's told me at 4:15 pm it was 103F. Re-Max told me it was 118F. My home thermometer read 100 by the time I got home. For those of you who are metric this is around 39C. But 118F is 47C. So y'all in Australia and New Zealand and South America who are in your winter and suffering from rain and cold - want to trade places mate/amigo? I think I might actually be getting used to being shut in the AC.

95 year old Miss Jessie next door does not have AC. She also doesn't open her windows, even at night - not ever. I've never seen a window open at her house. She also doesn't close her curtains when the sun pours in. Yesterday I got militant and put on a pot of constant comment tea and put it on ice and cut a lemon and called her and told her to get her skinny old ass down to my house for an hour or so. I didn't have to twist her arm. She took time before she came down to put on her "good" dress with a costume jewelry brooch and earrings. I managed to put on a bra under my slept-in t-shirt. She stayed for an hour. I wish I could convince her to just pack a bag and take my bed and let me stay on the sofa but she won't do it. Miss Jessie laughs a lot although she has little reason to do so. Social Security didn't kick in until she was practically retired. She spent her life raising the children of white people while she was forced to sit at the back of the bus and drink from "colored" water fountains. But she is the happiest, most loving person and she has two favorite sayings. First is "I'm still a-kickin- and I ain't dead yet!" and the second is "Everybody is somebody - don't matter their color." She adores my Mom and Dad and when they visit she has been known to actually put on a wig and a hat along with her good dress and brooch so she can sit and listen to my Dad bullshit for a while. I suspect she has a secret crush on which most women over 75 do. Dad you are a player! Dad and Miss Jessie are made of the same material which I think is why I love her so much. In the past 5 years or so lots of people have started to really try to help her out in a lot of ways and she always tells me she can't understand why people are so good to her and I tell her I don't understand it either since she's always been so damned MEAN to everyone. And then she tells me I should watch out because she'll cut a switch and beat me. At Christmas and her birthday I give her a Kroger gift card because this is what she needs and most appreciates.

Sometimes spending time with Miss Jessie is trying. Over the past couple of years she has gotten stuck on a few things and always has to tell me from the beginning as if I have never heard it before. I am sure in her mind she must believe it is the first time. But Miss Jessie deserves to be heard with attention and patience - no matter what it is she has to tell, and no matter how many times she's told it. My Grandaddy was kind of the same but not really. He was a storyteller and I believe he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had told the story before at leat 100 times - he just "improved" it every time and every time I heard one of his stories it was new and fresh and the product of a really creative bullshitter who was also really funny. Towards the end, when I would drive through and visit him he would, despite my protests, hand me a $20 bill and a can of pork and beans when I left. He told me it was to ensure I was able to get closer to my Daddy than him when I broke down and I would have something to eat. I would protest the money and finally break down to shut him the hell up. My instructions were to make sure I opened the hood, placed the pork and beans on the chassis and let it cook a few minutes for a nutritious meal.

I miss Grandaddy so much, and I will miss Miss Jessie when she gets tired of it all and gets "called home to glory." I've promised her I will dance on her grave to send her off in style. And then I will try to be at least a part of the fine person she is.

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