Comedy of Errors

maybe I should say Comedy of total misjudgement. I always do this. I always start a project that to me seems to be a no-brainer quickie and then I get into it and realize I didn't properly assess the situation.

And so it has been with the porch-floor-repainting thing.

1. Yesterday I cleared most everything off the floor and I scraped the paint that was obviously peeling. Then I vacuumed thoroughly in preparation for hosing it all down prior to 10am today (the outdoor water use deadline).

2. By 9 am it was hosed off and scrubbed down. Then I cleaned the windows and the hanging lamps and the porch rockers. Then I went inside and waited for it to dry while I read this awesomely funny blog by this attorney woman here in Atlanta that Susannah turned me on to yesterday: http://www.missdoxie.com/ After reading a few random posts last night and laughing my ass off I started mid-morning at the beginning of time and am now up to February 2006. I am still laughing. I didn't make it to the arts and crafts festival up on Main Street. Maybe tomorrow.

3. I went out every 30 minutes or so to check the drying progress and realized that the bare wood patches (see photos) would have to dry completely before painting which is something I didn't figure in.

Then I realized the water caused some extra paint-peeling up at the edge stuff so I got back on my hands and knees and re-scraped the whole fucking thing. Then I vacuumed all the scrapings off.

Can you see the remnants of white paint? This is from previous projects. My front porch is my "shop" by necessity. I so want it to vomit ferns and rocking chairs and candles and it ends up being the trash heap/storage room of the house. PEOPLE ON THE STREET CAN SEE!!!! I am so embarrassed.

4. I ate a turkey, tomato, onion and cuke sandwich for lunch. I love summer. I could live on turkey, tomato, onion and cuke sandwiches.

5. I took a nap for about an hour.

6. I started painting. When I went to Lowe's for the paint I took a paint chip. The last time I did this when I repainted the outside trim 7 years ago I must have been at Home Depot because they did some sort of laser reading on the chip and matched it exactly. This time at Lowe's I got a choice between two colors that didn't really match at all. Note to self - for paint matching break down and go to HD. Now that I have a little bit down on the floor the mismatch is glaringly obvious. Oh well. It's just a porch floor and the whole damned thing needs to be torn out and rebuilt anyway and this painting thing is just a band-aid until I win the lottery. Oh and also they gave me the oil based stuff instead of the latex stuff so I've already ruined one perfectly good 12 year old t-shirt (HA!) !

7. I started to sweat. It isn't terribly hot today and god knows painting a floor isn't the most physical thing I could do but I got about a 6' x 2' area done and was just dripping sweat and then I started smelling myself and got totally grossed out so I came inside and turned on the A/C and poured myself a glass of lemon fizzy water. In a minute I'm going to hop in the shower and then make a lamb chop and brussel sprouts for dinner. Then I might go paint some more even though it means another shower.

This porch painting might take a while.