Forgive a Mini-Tirade

I've hesitated writing this one because I know I will never be able to put into words what is in my heart but I have to spill because this is MY blog and MY place to voice my opinion.

In the past couple of months I have received two emails, both from people I am vaguely acquainted with yet both of whom felt comfortable forwarding what I consider to be rather revolting things. I was so very affected by both of these emails that even though I have tried to ignore them I can not and I just need to spill in the way that is me.

I'm not talking about off-color jokes. I like off-color jokes. I like doo-doo and pee-pee jokes. I even like good blonde jokes. I like to laugh. I'm talking about hysterical, fanatical religious-oriented emails that I swear to you I sat on for weeks before responding. And I did respond to both. In the kindest, gentlest way I could but I made no mistake about sharing my revulsion.

I live in the deep south - the bible belt like you wouldn't even imagine if you don't live here. I took down my front doorbell because of the "missionaries" who want me to join their beliefs and spend their weekends hassling me about it. Even though I am a Christian although I refuse to impose my beliefs on anyone else. Because, well, that just wouldn't be Christian now would it?

The first email was from a wonderful dear woman who helps my 96 year old next door neighbor the way I do - bringing groceries, being available on the phone, spending time with her. For this reason I love her. Miss Jessie's niece - her only living relative - a good Christian woman for the record - ignores her so we pick up the slack as best we can. But her email set me off. It was all about how she sat in church the past Sunday and the sermon was all about how Oprah "denied the existence of Jesus" and said that "Jesus was not the only way" and so this was "blasphemy" bordering on apostasy. There were links to youtube videos of Oprah circa 1992 wherein she expressed her opinion (a reality) that Christianity is not the only religion and we can not deny that other religions exist and there are other ways to God besides Jesus. Well duh. I guess the Baptist churches are just about 16 years behind. Or 160. No seriously. Fucking DUH PEOPLE!!!! Can you say "closed fucking mind?" I was disgusted. Oprah is allowed to believe anything she wants to believe and if I had a show you better believe I would also express my opinions. I am educated and I actually KNOW there are other religions besides Christianity. Hundreds of them in fact and none of them acknowledge Jesus as Saviour. Hundreds of them do not even know Jesus existed and they have been just fine for milleniums without the assistance of Christian missionaries to change their minds. To spread this kind of shit around makes me sick.

A couple of weeks ago I received an email - I will not reprint it here but if you want to vomit google A Letter From One Angry Woman. Oh how I could go to town on that one. It's all about how she doesn't CARE about the injustices claimed by Muslim "detainees" at Guantanamo Bay because "the Muslims" killed 3000 Americans. How she thinks Islam is a sham because "they" can't decide if their holy book is spelled Koran or Qu'ran. What an ignorant fuck. What an embarrassment. The Jesus I think I know would cringe at this lack of humanity. A bunch of fanatic extremists masterminded 9-11 and we should hold all of Islam responsible but should ignore the fact that under these ignorant rules all Christians should be held responsible for one misguided illiterate president who sent our young men and women to Iraq and Afghanistan in the name of God and Jesus. 3,000 died on 9-11. How many have died across the world due to Christian fanatacism? How many people have died because God supposedly spoke to GWB?

Make no mistake - I fully 100% support our troops. I send packages and donate what I can to the families and I support them completely. I just do not support the man who sent them there or his misguided illiterate policies and honestly he is a stupid monkey and as of today he has exactly 173 days to continue fucking up our country. Make no mistake. I am on a daily countdown. At this point I am on a half-daily countdown.

But I digress. Religious fanaticism makes me want to vomit. Regardless of which religion is being fanatic. And I would like to go on record as saying that just because you "accept Jesus into your heart" and believe that anyone who does not believe what you do will suffer in eternal hell does NOT mean you are right. You might be right for YOU and that is OK. But pull your damned stupid head out of the sand and realize there is a huge fucking world out there and not everyone shares your beliefs or wants to hear about them. I honestly would prefer to live in a Buddhist country. In my very heavily Christian neighborhood I don't like to go out of my house after dark. There are shooting and robberies and home invasions galore here. In Japan (where people are Buddhist or Shinto) I was always safe walking in the middle of Tokyo by myself at midnight.

I have a breaking report for you. JESUS WAS A JEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He celebrated Passover (what the fuck do you think the Last fucking Supper was?) For Chrissakes people!!!! Where do you think the Old fucking Testament comes from? Where has your religious education failed you?

Spare me please your religion hatred. Life is too short to engage in this. And since I am a Christian at heart if not in regular church-going practice I have to believe that Jesus would pat my back on this one. Also he would laugh. And maybe dance a little. With a beer. I have to also believe he waould giggle a little everytime I siad "fuck." Because Jesus was a pretty rad little guy and loved and accepted EVERYONE regardless of whether they were destitute or their fucking nose was falling off or whether they smelled bad or fell in love with a member of the same sex or whether they sold their bodies for money and possibly enjoyed it. And if this is offensive to you what part of the fucking Bible did you NOT UNDERSTAND?

God and Jesus and Buddha and Allah and Mother Earth and I have an agreement. I believe in them and they cut me a break for cutting out on formal services. I try every day to live in service and they forgive me for saying "fuck" a lot. And I WILL go to heaven or Paradise or be reincarnated (hopefully as a cat owned by me). I am fully saved because I live the life I have been given as fully as I can. In the spirit.

I'm just sayin' is all.

Now waiting for the hate mail to pour in. Be ready for my response because I WILL respond.