Pondering Life and Death

When it came to Miss Jessie I was a pitbull in the ring. I had several bad exchanges with her niece over the past 2 years when I contacted her about my concerns and our last exchange about 6 weeks ago was not at all nice. Usually I am a really nice person but when it came to Miss Jessie's welfare I was willing always to kick ass and take names and I will be the first to admit that I was not at all nice after 3 years of calling and emailing and begging. Not at all nice. As Miss Jessie would say I got her told and told good. For the record I was not out of line but also for the record I was not at all nice in the end.

I was shocked when Mary called me Friday to tell me about Miss Jessie and even more shocked that she was so nice to me. Today she stopped by. I heard someone calling my name from outside and I went to the door and there she stood. I about fell out. She just wanted to tell me that she had taken a nice dress to the funeral home and Miss Jessie looks "beautiful." She also wanted to let me know about the visitation tomorrow. She hugged me. Twice. She told me Miss Jessie talked about me all the time and I was a good neighbor and friend to her aunt. I was truly floored. I gave her plenty of reason to despise me and yet she doesn't.

There is no doubt now. I have to go. I have to go tomorrow to the funeral home and I have to go to the funeral. I'm going to have to firm up my memories of Miss Jessie out in her yard so I can look at her in her casket and tell Mary how beautiful she looks. I have to do this for her family.

The funeral is at 11 am. I am supposed to have a tooth pulled at 2 pm. I think tomorrow I will try to change my tooth appointment so I can go to the cemetary and see her all the way through. I think this is the very least I can do for the 10 years of friendship - see her all the way. Also I want to make sure I know where she is. I always promised her I would do a tango on her grave. Now I just need to learn how to do a tango.