Dylan

Dyl baby is my 10 year old purebred rescue. I adopted him when he was 6 months old. His first mom and dad no longer wanted him after their first Maine Coon cat died and I took him in and he became my family right away.

Maine Coon cats are huge cats and grow to be an average of 22 pounds. Dly has never broken 10 pounds and is now down to 5 pounds.

I haven't blogged about it but during my first month in Santiago my cat sitter took Dylan to the vet. One day she came in and he had an infected nasal discharge and he was in bad shape and she crated him up and took him directly to my vet. He was there almost 3 weeks beforee I came home the last time. He was getting his medicine and fluids and it was the best place for him to be.

When I was back for 3 days last month I brought him home. Because he is in end stage kidney failure it would be necessary for him to have subcutaneous fluids every other day and although my catsitter can do this Dylan is a difficult patient and so I made the decision to leave him boarding at the vet during February. I knew he would have the very best care possible.

When I landed early Saturday morning I stpooed at the house long enough to shower and then went to pick my boy up. He is not the same cat. He is far too thin and he is weak and confused and about all that is left of my boy is the love. He loves so much and has always been my sweetie and that part of him is still there but I think Dylan is gone now and I think it is time to let him go.

The difficult thing is that every now and then I see the old Dylan but this is fleeting. He has been mostly confused and seems to have no interest in anything. I will leave again Saturday night and the best place for him would be with my wonderful vet but at what cost to Dylan?

I think now I have to let him go. He is only 10. Sonny is 18 and still going strong so this doesn't make sense to me. But I know for sure Dylan will not be around a month from now and I am certain he is not in pain but he is suffering and honestly I think he is making an effort to stick around for my sake. He is the sweetest most loving boy but he isn't a tube of toothpaste that I can get one more brushing out of.

Tonight I am sad and confused and second-guessing what I know is the right thing. I haven't made the call yet. How can I set an appointment and then hold him and talk to him like everything is fine?